Imagine you were camped around Har Sinai. You’ve just heard directly from Hakadosh Boruch Hu. It’s the first Shabbos post the national revelation. You are still on a high, after all you have heard directly from Hashem. You peak out of your tent, walk around and meet your neighbour. You both know that no food will fall today. You carefully collected the double portion the day before, you have plenty to eat. What happens next? Have you worked it out?
One group of people reading this will answer, nothing happens. Each person would have gone about their business without saying a word. We don’t speak to our neighbour. They might be Jewish but our customs are different, they don’t practice the way we do. We keep to ourselves and stay within our own circles. Another group of you will be mentally screaming “it’s obvious, they would have said Shabbat Shalom” {Yiddish hadn’t been invented back then!}.
Why is it not obvious that when we meet each other on Shabbos that we should immediately wish each other, Shabbat Shalom, Gut Shabbes, Good Shabbos, Sabbatical Salutations. Ok, I don’t know anyone who says the last one, but just in case, better to be prepared.
We all know the Mishnah in Ovos that we are duty bound to greet each other “b’sever panim yafos.” This is not something for our leaders, or spiritual giants to accomplish. It is a minimum requirement of a bein adam la’chaveiro. There might be excusable reasons why we shy away from each other. Perhaps we are scared? Could it be low self esteem coupled with a concern that we might be ignored? Maybe we were brought up with superiority complex or were not really taught about ahavas habriyos, loving everyone. The teaching below from the Chovas Halevovos is very powerful and I hope will be the part of curing the problem:
A wise man was asked: "How were you able to become accepted as head of your entire generation?" He replied: "Because I never met one of them that I did not see in him a quality in which he is greater than me. If he was wiser than me, I concluded that he must be more G-d fearing than me since his wisdom is greater than mine. If he had less wisdom than I have, I considered that on the day of Judgment, he will be held less accountable than I, because my transgressions were committed with knowledge and intent while his were committed in error.
If he was older than me, I would reason that his merits must be greater than mine since he came into the world before me. If he was younger, I thought that his sins were fewer than mine. If he was equal to me in age and wisdom, I would tell myself: maybe his heart is more devoted to G-d than mine, because I know of my past sins, but I don't know of any that he committed. If he was wealthier than me, I would think that due to his wealth, he likely served G-d more than me, in doing charities and helping the poor. If he was poorer than me, I would consider that he was more low and humble than me due to his poorness, and he is better than me. Due to this, I never ceased to honour all of them and humble myself before them."
Society is not what it once was. We now live in a self obsessed society. Most of our photos are “selfies”. Advertisements sell us the idea that we are here to make ourselves happy. Do what's best for you, not others. People just don't care about others as they once did. It's the sad truth of our society in this day and age. If you don't care at all how other people are doing, why would you acknowledge them and even go out your way to ask how they are doing, or to acknowledge their existence. Many people want the interaction to benefit them in some way, and for it to be short and sweet. We are too much of a rush to pay attention. As technology speeds up the way we experience life, we have less time to develop conversation. This is true even on Shabbos, when we would assume that we are not in a rush.
Some people still hold on to how things were and teach their children to act like people who care for others. They will bring about the change we need. Tzaddikim note that the Gemoroh teaches us that "Just as their faces are different, so too are their thoughts different." No two people look alike and therefore will not be alike. We might try hard to sanitise our mosdos from families that are not identical to the stated ethos. However, this attempt is actually blasphemous. Chazal have taught us that fundamentally we are different and it’s still an obligation to greet each other with a smile, warmth and love. The way to achieve the achievable is to know that each person has task that only they can fulfil. For the world to reach its’ destiny, every one of us needs to complete our individual tikkun. We really need each other; Hashem wants us to realise how much we need each other. The work of one person is totally independent of the task of any other person, and each one must carry through and complete his given purpose.
We therefore need to honour and cherish each other. Greeting another with a smile, a good morning, a Gut Shabbes actually says, I am so glad you are in this world. You have a gift that only you can give to the world. We need you and without you the world would be incomplete. If you have lost a loved one, you understand how empty the world feels, even when you are standing in a crowd. When we walk around the bimah on Sukkos and look up at the person holding the Sefer Torah, who is often an ovel, know that despite being surrounded by the whole shul, he is the loneliest person in the room. His inner world is bereft at that moment. Why does it take an actual death to remind us how much people are valued? Let us pledge to express these sentiments in life, daily and especially on Shabbos. So let me wish you all a very Good Shabbos.
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