Venahafoch hu!
If you could meet Esther or Mordechai today, what would you ask them? No doubt there are many questions, details of the story that the Megilah doesn’t reveal, understanding their motivations. One question that I would ask would be whether we are worth all the effort they went through. Looking around at the Jewish world today, are they proud of their descendants, were we the future their dreamed of and who they sacrificed so much for.
When they see how we celebrate their Yom Tov today and knowing how much it took for Esther to convince the chachomim “Kisvuni la’doros, write my story for all generations” is this what they wanted? If we can be presumptuous and answer on their behalf, I think there is much to be proud of. The round the clock Megila readings allowing everyone who wants to be mekayem the mitzva, the huge amounts of Tzedaka that are collected, the chessed is truly incredible.
There is another side to Purim though, one which creates anxiety, stress, alienation, disappointment, frustration and embarrassment. The unhealthy competition to have the snazziest costume, the best designed or over the top mishloach manot, the superlative Purim Seuda with the in crowd attending. A Yom Tov celebrating the salvation from a potential national holocaust has mutated in part and overtime has become the catalyst for Haman like behaviour.
Bringing Jews together as a response to antisemitism makes sense, but somehow this is to powerful so the forces of negativity have found a way in to drive people apart. Of course no malice is ever intended and I cannot imagine a Jewish home that purposely seeks to inflict emotional and financial pain on another. Yet, year after year we are seduced by images of just the perfect arrangements and the “perfect” unaffordable prices. How many tears are shed by parents and children each year because they can’t keep up?
The phrase that captures the drama of Purim so succinctly is Ve’nahafoch hu, everything turned around. We even sing these words whilst davening that our current golus will likewise flip into a glorious geulah. However, language is seldom so simple and a cursory glance at the shoresh of the word reveals some very different usages of the hafach root.
In Sefer Devorim the Posuk says that Hashem “turned the curse into a brocho for you,” conveying a reversal from one state to its opposite state much like in the Megilla. One moment Mordechai is slated for hanging the next he is put in charge. On other occasions the same root word is used to convey a change from one state to another as in Moshe’s stick turning into a snake or the water turning into blood. In Hallel we sing of Hashem turning “the rock into a pool of water.” In Yonah the wicked inhabitants of Nineveh are warned to change their behaviour or in “another forty days and Ninveh shall be overturned.” This is not only a change from one state to another, but a change from a state of order to a state of chaos, from civilisation to destruction. Finally, the angels who are guarding the path back to Eden and the flaming sword “turning every which way.” This terrifying image conjures up an almost out of control weapon.
Maybe that’s why Purim is more nuanced than we might have assumed. We are reminded that at times life spins beyond our control and we cannot predict where it’s going. The Halacha commands us “mishenichnas Adar marbim be’simcha because it is counter intuitive to face the notion of “venahafoch hu” and to celebrate. Celebration for many, a shift to a different state for others and feeling completely out of control for some.
Without stronger leadership, we cannot control societal norms and I imagine things will not change on their own. In earlier times things were positively very different. The Mishna Berurah brings a halacho in Chapter 242 in Orach Chaim regarding honouring Shabbos with nice food, that “If the fish-sellers raise the price, it is appropriate to make a reparative legal decree (Takanah) that people should not buy fish for some number of shabbasos until they reduce the price to what it was before,” we seem not to have that level of leadership in our days.
But do not despair, dear reader. We have the power of Venahafoch hu on our side. If we cannot change the external world we can certainly change our internal world and our reaction to the ugly power of Haman.
The business dragon Deborah Meaden makes the point that “changing our response to failure (or more generally things we don’t like) is a big task. Change can begin by making sure the moment is viewed as a real opportunity to learn and adapt; by learning how to deal with the emotions surrounding a fail and by building resilience which enables you to consider, learn, apply that learning and move forward.”
Kabbolo tells us that the month of Adar corresponds to Yosef. Interestingly he lived a venahafoch hu life. He was either the viceroy, head of prison, head of the house but he also found himself in a pit, in Egypt, rejected by his brothers. We waste so much time trying to “keep calm and carry on,” or “don’t worry be happy.” We do so, when we forget the wisdom of Shlomo Ha’melech in Koheles. In the third chapter, Koheles tells us that life is not always about being happy or calm, there are times when there is chaos and destructions, uprooting and crying. We cannot run away from this reality. Rav Yaakov Meir Shechter from Breslov explains Rebbe Nachman’s opening Torah in Likutei Moharan as an acceptance that life is always in flux, but our commitment to Torah must remain constant. “Ashrei T’mimei Derech” says Dovid Ha’melech in Tehilim 119. To be a “tomim” necessitates cultivating an attitude that keeps with the program even when there is no desire or energy. Just like the natural world moves from day to night, summer to winter and just like as we breathe and exhale our chest rises and falls, so too in our avodas Hashem . There will always be good and less good times or times of feeling in control and times when one feels helplessly out of control. At these moments we must remember the tefilos we davened during the yomim noraim. We said at every Tefila that the world should know Hashem and recognise Him as the King. This is why we are here, to bring consciousness of the Eibishter to the world. When we reach a point of awareness of ein od milvado, we have progressed to the end of the game of life. We have the secret, the knowledge that all our challenges have been trying to bring out of us. Hashen is in control and everything that happens is for the best, whether we understand it or not. So please tap into venahafoch hu in all its many meanings. Ultimately what we can change is our attitude and perspective. Let the world spin crazily like the sword, or threaten to overturn our serenity like in Nineveh or perhaps just to present an alternative perspective, moving for worry and stress to light and salvation. Until we merit la’yehudim hay’sa ora vesimcha, ken tihiyeh lanu!
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