When difficulties overtake us, when darkness envelopes our inner world it is often impossible to see a better tomorrow. We read a few weeks ago how the Bnei Yisroel struggled to hear Moshe’s message of redemption. They were broken spirited and could not hear or see any positive outcome. Eventually they were free but that didn’t ease their pain. Truthfully, freedom doesn’t erase the suffering that slavery brought about. They would still have been left with horrific memories, flashbacks and trauma from their years in Mitzrayim. Their newfound freedom would have brought a change of experience an opportunity for happiness, but they stilled lived with their experiences.
When we read the Chumish we get caught up in the narratives; it’s either slavery or freedom. We don’t consider how the transition between the two was managed. The seven weeks to Har Sinai are not covered by the Torah, we don’t get a glimpse of how the Bnei Yisrael began to repair and heal. We do know that they suffered PTSD. The repeated refrain “things were better in Egypt” suggests a broken spirit that lasted generations.
Yet, our history has shown us, that healing and rebuilding is possible. After sadness and despair can come dancing and happiness. Shlomo Ha’Melech in Koheles tells us “A time for weeping and a time for laughing, A time for wailing and a time for dancing.” Amid weeping and wailing laughing and dancing are the furthest from one’s mind. Yet the contrast suggest that one will transition into another. It is possible to laugh and dance again.
Both laughing and dancing happen when we are happy or feeling joyous. Happiness is about a lifetime but joy lives in the moment. It’s hard to feel happy in the midst of uncertainty. Joy makes you want to dance and sing. Happiness is something you can feel alone, but joy is something you share with others. For the first year of marriage, a husband must “stay at home and bring joy to the wife he has married.” Shockingly, Moshe tells the Bnei Yisroel that the curses will Chas Veshalom come about because “you did not serve Hashem with joy and gladness”. Anger, pain, suffering and despair create barriers that make it difficult to see Hashem and develop a relationship with Him.
There was a place where our relationship was felt most acutely; the Beis Hamikdosh and earlier still the Mishkon. This house of Hashem was primarily intended to bring to mind the nearness of Hashem, the intimate relationship of Hashem and man. Our attempt to make space for Hashem in our physical world is our wish to feel Hashem in our lives whilst simultaneously striving to raise ourselves to Him. In the words of Rav Hirsch “The purpose of our houses of worship shall always be ever to keep these thoughts before us so that we may cherish them in our hearts and thereby derive strength and guidance for all our endeavours.”
Chapter 30 in Tehilim is dedicated to the bayis, the home, that Dovid Ha’Melech so desired to build for Hashem. Dovid Ha’Melech had this sense of nearness to Hashem which he experienced through his agitated life. This chapter reaffirms trust in Hashem even after challenges. Our places of worship and our homes are spaces where the ideas in this chapter must be brought about. The ideas that follow are based on the commentary of Rav Hirsch to Tehilim. Go and open a siddur and have a look at the phrases as you continue reading.
“Ki de’lisani” We seek our support only from above, from Hashem. If we were left to ourselves without Hashem we would have sank back into the depths long ago. Therefore, whoever enters this house renounces all support from earthly sources. By connecting to Hashem we grasp hold of the “hand” that will lift us up, that grants strength and support throughout our lives.
“Zamru la’Hashem Chasidov” our house of Hashem is not dedicated to sadness, feelings of despair and brokenness. The Beis Hamikdosh is about a joy that comes from a G-d orientated life.
“Eilecha Hashem ekrah” Overcome by fright I turned away from superficial human relationships back to Hashem, who is always ready to grant a new brighter future to those who seek it. We must remind ourselves that when Hashem sends us sorrow its purpose and goal is not our death and destruction. Therefore we must look at Hashem for our tomorrows confident that they will come.
“Hofachta Mispedi lemochol”, You turned for me my mourning into dancing. You loosened my sackcloth and girded me with joy. We welcome these moments, but it is an entirely different experience to recognise the hand of Hashem both in the agony of despair and in the delight of joy. Such moments are possible and reminding ourselves of this principle may just provide each of us with the secret to a fulfilled happy life.
If you read this column regularly you would have noticed how the ideas and Torah shared are dedicated in memory of my precious son Naftoli Meir Z’L. His pure soul left this world just over 2 years ago. The feelings of grief ,despair and emptiness have been my steady companion. But as we learn from Tehilim the Eibishter can bring about a change of experience. The sadness remains as a melody to the tune of my life. But that tune has a new part in the form of a wonderful, caring young Chosson who will be’ezras Hashem become my son in law after Pesach. Just like the Bnei Yisroel struggled to hear the soothing words of Moshe Rabbeinu’s promises of a better tomorrow so too did we in the darkest times struggle to imagine the joy of a dance, the sound of happiness the rebuilding. Boruch Avigdor (Avi) we are so blessed to have you join our family. You are kind and loving, authentic and genuine, you bring a smile to my daughter’s face. Our families have connected effortlessly, and with the help of Hashem you will build a beautiful home together filled with Hashem’s brochos.
“Thank you, Hashem, for bringing us out of the depths of darkness, raising us high to see a different tomorrow. We daven that this new home be a home that you are proud of and where you will be found. We hope, that we your children merit to rebuild your home also as a binyan adei ad and witness a time of no more tears, suffering and grief, with peace, happiness and harmony for all people. Omein.”
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